suicidal tendencies

I felt the need to repost this blog this post from January. Suicide is a thought that crosses all of our minds. None of us is immune. Empower ourselves & empower our children with the survival skill of Self Love.

amy stewart, l.m.t.

In all of the years that I have been on this path, (pretty much my entire life, although people who knew me in high school may disagree!) -the one question that has always tormented me was- “what happens when you commit suicide? Where do you go?”

I’ve always felt very secure in my faith in the afterlife. But for some reason, there seemed to be some gray area when it came to suicide. I have never believed in hell so that was not the issue. I did however worry about this place called “limbo” or “the left door”. I once watched this independent movie, “Wristcutters”, a dark comedy about people that commit suicide and spend the rest of their “days” so to speak doing exactly what they were doing when they decided to commit suicide to begin with. It’s more uplifting than that, a love story, but I don’t want…

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A Course In Miracles, body, chakra, mind, spirit, spiritual awakening

Somewhere Over The Living Rainbow is Love

“You can discover more about a person in one hour of play than a year of conversation.”-Plato

an excerpt from my new book, The Living Rainbowbook pic

– I have always believed in the goodness of people. Or should I say I have always wanted to believe in the goodness of people. However the world can be a cruel dark place and forces many of us to grow up fast; sometimes too fast. Our survival instincts kick in and before we know it, we are convinced that if we don’t take care of ourselves then no one else will.  Our faith along with our inherent wisdom of what we really are, the I AM, gets lost in the tug of war in search for something to believe in.

Do we create our own reality or do we let go and let God?

That answer became clear to me one day when my son and I were playing. Kevin was five years old at the time. He and I were playing a good old fashioned game of good guy versus bad guy, Super Mario style.  Typical scenarios were being played out and everything appeared to be going according to plan. The good guys were winning and they were about to punish Bowser and his minions. Then all of sudden Kevin says “Mommy, Wait! We shouldn’t punish them.”  He was adamant and I was confused. Was I not playing right? I mean I have to admit, as much as I love my son, at times these games can become quite tiresome.  But I felt that I was doing a pretty good job keeping my enthusiasm up while faking whatever knowledge I had of combat and video games. “Why not?” I asked with a strange combination of bruised ego and holy curiosity. “Because Mommy-what if the reason they are bad guys is because they were never taught how to be nice. We can teach them!”  

His eyes glittered. They didn’t just glitter. They radiated. There was a brilliancy about what he had just said that was tangible and I could literally feel his message with my entire being. In an instant I could see with my mind’s eye a flash of everyone I have ever felt was a “bad guy” in my own life. And in that moment I realized that maybe they were just never taught how to be nice. And maybe, just maybe the fact that they were never taught how to be nice was also part of the divine plan.

“It is up to us to see the love that lay behind their eyes.”i am love rainbow

Children see this love. It is as natural for them as breathing. God’s love is the living water and our chakras system is the living rainbow. This union ignites our body into a divine living prism for God’s Light to shine on earth.  Writing this book, The Living Rainbow is how I personally have reconciled my own tug of war of loving who I AM and shining my Light in the way I feel called to do so. I dedicate this book to my son, Kevin, and to all of God’s Children. May we all remember how to look at Life with the innocence of a child.

I once was lost

But now I’m found

Was blind, but now I see.

-Amazing Grace

To order your copy of The Living Rainbow & to check out new blog site go to