Rainbow in the Rough: A Lesson in Tough Love

amy stewart, l.m.t.

It is my personal belief that we incarnate into situations and themes that are geared to introduce us to the parts of ourselves that do not yet know & trust God. Life does not happen to us.  Life happens because of us. Action combined with Divine intuition has the power to create anything.

When I was a little girl I felt very “in tune” with this Divine intuition.  Many children do. However this intuitive connection often goes un-nurtured.  As mine did.  Don’t get me wrong, my parents loved me.  But with most parents, they were too busy with work, my siblings and the day to day hustle and bustle of life.

I have always been fascinated with the mystical world of energy and metaphysics because I was starving for explanations for the feelings I had as a child and the colorful displays that would dance before my eyes that no one else…

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suicidal tendencies

I felt the need to repost this blog this post from January. Suicide is a thought that crosses all of our minds. None of us is immune. Empower ourselves & empower our children with the survival skill of Self Love.

amy stewart, l.m.t.

In all of the years that I have been on this path, (pretty much my entire life, although people who knew me in high school may disagree!) -the one question that has always tormented me was- “what happens when you commit suicide? Where do you go?”

I’ve always felt very secure in my faith in the afterlife. But for some reason, there seemed to be some gray area when it came to suicide. I have never believed in hell so that was not the issue. I did however worry about this place called “limbo” or “the left door”. I once watched this independent movie, “Wristcutters”, a dark comedy about people that commit suicide and spend the rest of their “days” so to speak doing exactly what they were doing when they decided to commit suicide to begin with. It’s more uplifting than that, a love story, but I don’t want…

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Nothing Real Can Be Threatened; Herein lies the peace of GOD.

It was my love and curiosity of science that led me to God. A love and holy curiosity that according to certain people is securing me a toasty seat in the bowels of hell.  Well I refuse to even entertain that notion by reacting defensively. As much as that hurts me, I know better.

Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.  – A Course In Miracles

A Course In Miracles (ACIM) is a metaphysical, spiritual practice. I came across this practice about nine years ago. It was exactly what I had been looking for. It made total sense and scared me all at the same time. I mean “scare” in a good way.  It scared me because it is completely non-dualistic -and coming from the school of balancing the mind, body & spirit connection as a massage therapist, this non-dualistic view was challenging to say the least. ACIM forces you to see TRUTH and to be ugly honest with yourself. To know thyself is to know God. It is also the very first spiritual practice that I have found where I feel complete safety in the aspects about it that I do not yet understand. I am totally secure with not knowing and having complete faith. That is not something that I had ever felt before with any other practice.
Most of us spend our whole lives making excuses for why our life is the way that it is and constantly pointing our fingers playing the blame game.  We become so comfortable playing the victim without even considering the people that we have victimized. I admit that I am guilty of this. WE are the cause of our world and WE are the cause of our perceptions. Nothing else. WE- the one MIND of GOD that has seemingly been split into billions of fragments each containing the whole. A divine hologram. The one MIND in a state of confusion and draped with veils of deceiving ego.

But things are not always as they seem.‘ As we see our brother, we see ourselves.’
I have been studying metaphysics pretty much my whole life, without ever realizing that that’s what I was doing.   The visible world of energy, reincarnation, the “other side” , star gazing, the moon, human behavior, evolution, music, the occult.  The seemingly unknown was always so fascinating to me mainly because it seemed so unknown!   I am still blown away by what is considered unknown these days.  I know. I can be so “judgy”! People fear what they do not know.

But more often than not, this unknown world felt much more real to me than my waking world.  The unknown resonated with me on an atomic level.  As a child I saw many things, felt many things and heard many things.  It wasn’t until I was able to decipher that what the hell is this kid talking about look in their eyes as they smiled and nodded that I stopped sharing my experiences.  But my curiosity and child like wonderment continued.  Many a night I would lay awake in my bed, staring off into the pitch darkness watching the magical illuminations dance around my room. It was divine. I felt safe. I felt love and I knew that it was the angelic realm performing just for me although I did not have that terminology at the time.  Oh. I had heard about God. We would say our prayers every night before bed. But other than that God and Jesus lived in a church somewhere. And anyone I knew at the time claiming to have Jesus in their heart frankly gave me the creeps. They were smothering, racist, judgmental and fake. And I would also wonder if there was only one God, then how come there are so many churches? It wasn’t the quantity of churches that made me ask this question in my seven year old mind, it was the fighting between them all in the name of God that confused me so much.
I saw this same confusion in my younger brothers and I see this same confusion in my own son. Probably why I feel so compelled to write children’s books covering this very topic.

Up until a year or so ago, I defined metaphysics as -beyond the physical. A union of spirit and matter, the divine and the earthly realm. It encompasses a marriage of all religious teachings; ancient & contemporary, eastern & western; and unites those teaching with science.  Basically whatever religion or icon that you personally resonate with is how Spirit will represent itself and manifest in your life.  That’s why I don’t get so hung up on labels. Because all representations are coming from the same source. God.  There are 1000 faces of God.  There are 1000 ways to love God and 1000 ways to hate in the name of God. And 1001 lessons provided for us to give us the opportunity to learn forgiveness.

As my metaphysical views are maturing. I realize that every moment in Life provides one of two things- an opportunity to celebrate or an opportunity to forgive. But these two choices are not separate. There is no separation in the MIND of God. Forgiveness IS the miracle. When we forgive, we celebrate. Our lessons therefore give us both.
Our existence, our coming of age as we illuminate our personal pathway home is a timeless story. It is a journey. A journey we are all on, whether we recognize it or not. I am not claiming that ACIM is the only way. I believe that any religious and/or spiritual path that makes you actually want to live the Golden Rule because it feels natural and not because you are afraid of consequences if you don’t- then that path is the right path for you. And to those of you that believe I am going to hell; thank you. Thank you for providing me this amazing opportunity to practice forgiveness. And while I am immersed in these Life changing lessons, I will celebrate as I become who I AM without fear. 


A Mystic Girl In The Material World

Hi. I would like to welcome everyone to my very first blog.  It took me a while to get here. I was stuck in the material world and then realized I was STARVING!  Everyday was the same.  I felt like how I feel when I go through the cable channels.  NOTHING is on.  Like looking into the fridge for the 139th time thinking something more enticing will magically appear to satiate whatever hunger I haven’t yet been able to put my  finger on…or admitted to myself I so disparately wanted to taste.  I AM starving. But it’s not the material world’s fault. It’s not anyone’s fault- if I’m going to be real here. And that’s what this blog is all about. THE REAL DEAL, HOLY FIELD!  Sorry. I couldn’t help myself.  And yes, pun intended! This is my journal. My inner most thoughts.  I am learning how to feed myself in a world that is just now learning which seeds to plant.  It’s lonely making dinner for one especially when you have this nonsensical desire to feed others. But first a warning.  Anyone with a fragile ego or weak stomach should probably stop reading now! I can be a real asshole. I’m not an asshole…or at least I don’t think that I am. I will leave that up to you.